Service Pets

I may get some slack for this but Im one to think the "service dog" craze is getting out of hand. It seems like every where I go, there is a dog. "Oh its my service dog" they say. Now dont get me wrong, I love dogs and other animals and I think service dogs for the blind are the most lagit, but some of the excuses Ive heard are just plain out rediculous to me.

There was a lady once in a restruant. Her dog sitting beside her. No vest, no flag, nothing. Just a little cute dog sitting in the chair at the table. She claimed it was her service dog for anxiety. Really? Im not gonna say its not a good idea but if you cant sit in a restaurant for 30 minutes to a meal, you need more than a dog. Just thinking about dog hair in the food was enough to make me gag and depending on what kind of dog it is, my allergies will flare up in a matter of minutes making my dining experience a bad one.

This happend yesterday. Me and Nick were browsing through the dollar store. He pointed me over to an area where a man had a big beautiful bird on his head. Me being the nosey one, I walk over to the man with a puzzled look on my face and ask, "really"? "Sorry sir but I had to see if the bird on your head is real?" He seemed thrilled to respond. "Yes maam, it is. He is my service bird". Let me just mention, this bird had a patriotic diaper on. Seriously! Genius! He went on, "He helps me with my bipolar problem." I asked the man, "so how does he help you with that?". "He can sense when I start going crazy and will start squawking loud to remind me to take my meds". He also stated that the bird also attracts the women. Haha ok good one [have you took your meds today?] 

My phone is in my hand but at this point but I didnt know to ask for a picture or not. The bird was squawking. I wish I had taken a picture though to go with my story. It sure was somethin. He said the VA gave it to him and his other outfit had his badges attached. Great story but not sure Im buying it.

Found a photo online of the same bird with the same patriotic diaper (or costume).

My thoughts? How in the world can a bird know one is crazy? 

If he goes to the mall, wouldn't it squawk the whole time? 

I mean crazies are everywhere. 

If your anxiety problem is so bad or you cant remember to take a much needed medicine, 

then how are you capable of taking care of an animal? 

This is becoming a problem around here and the situation is getting out of hand, sort of like the handicap passes. I want get started on that. People are taking advantage of it and it hurts those that really need the help. 

Did you know you can buy a service vest for your pooch on ebay for 29.99? Yep. Want to take fido with you anywhere you go? Just get one and no one dares to ask for proof. And its legal!

I think I need a service monkey to slap food out of my hand everywhere I go because I have an eating problem. Any suggestions on where I can get one?